Traditional Stuttering Therapy, Career Fairs and No Employment

This stuttering therapy section will probably be sad to read. I was debating for a long time whether I should share my own experiences with employment with you here or not. Mary’s personal success story with employment, which she was kind enough to share with us on my Free section of this site, had a happy ending. My own story, on the other hand, did not for many years to come.

Many years ago, I ended up working as a security officer in the worst part of town. I was making merely five dollars per hour. I remember it was summer. I wore a special uniform and was sweating immensely. Being awfully close to getting a heat stroke, I had all that time to evaluate my life. The only question that seemed to pop up was as followed:

“What happened to me?”

In high school and college, I received a traditional stuttering therapy. That stuttering treatment consisted of learning prolongations, cancellations and pull outs. I have received the same therapy for many years. I was surrounded with so much attention from graduate student clinicians that I was actually enjoying my speech therapy sessions despite the fact that they never worked for me.

However, one day came and everything had stopped. I showed up for my university graduation. I was happy and hopeful for just that day. After that day, I was left to face a real world on my own. Needless to say, I was scared. My traditional stuttering therapy was over. All graduate student clinicians were gone. I still could not put two words together without stuttering.

Previously, I attended several career fairs in my college. I would give my resume to potential employers. I would go to various interviews only to see the door smashed at my face. I had good grades. I received a scholarship in university. I had plans and career goals much like other students. Nevertheless, there still was no job for me. These events took place when our economy was booming. Anybody could have gotten a job back then…anybody, but me.

I was intelligent to understand what was happening to me. My mouth was my main enemy. I could not get the words out. The employer would ask me various questions. I would get stuck in the middle of sentence. Instead of saying the words, I would make various sounds. Most employers probably thought I was a crazy person. At one point of time, I got so upset and frustrated I thought I was going to flash my university degree down the toilet. You see stuttering will not “kill” you. However, it does have a great ability to destroy any chance you might have at having a decent future.

Well, I needed to make money somehow to survive. I had to go to apply for various security officer's positions. I knew I still could get one of those positions. I did not have to talk much anyway. Those positions did not require any formal education and paid minimum wage.

While working my shifts, I asked myself the same question with even more intensity than I had ever before:

“What happened to me?”

More and more similar questions began to appear in my mind.

What happened to my life? What happened to my plans and dreams? How am I going to survive in this world? Why do I always go through bad times? How am I going to deal with stuttering now when my traditional stuttering therapy has continuously failed to work?

The answers to most questions were obvious. Although I had all employment skills and abilities, I could not really take advantage of them. They were literally locked and not within my reach. Stuttering has “locked” them. I could not unlock them without speaking fluently.

What was my solution to being without a decent job?

I pursued my graduate studies. Things did not turn out as well as I thought they should have turned out. You see most professors in those graduate-level courses required students to speak in the front of everybody. To my own shock, the grades in those classes depended on my ability to speak. Luckily, I was already experimenting with alternative medicine therapies. Alternative medicine therapy was a new stuttering therapy for me that was successful. My life did change eventually for the better.