Stuttering, Support Group, Stuttering Therapy and Dating
In this section, I will offer my own observations about stuttering therapy, support group, stuttering and dating. As you browse through any internet dating website, you will come across many profiles of singles. Those people have not been successful at finding that special someone despite the fact they do not stutter. Nevertheless, they are alone and probably very lonely.
Of course, the circumstances that led to them being alone are different. A person might have something wrong with his or her personality that might "signal" other people to stay away. Some people lack social skills and do not take risks. Some people are insecure. Some people simply portray negative things. The reason for being along can be more than one and not easy for anybody to see at first.
Leading several support groups in the past, I quickly realized many people who stutter often have several problems I already listed above. When we are young, we often think people will not accept us for who we are. We are insecure because of our stuttering. We are afraid to be perceived as weak and not confident. Thus, we stay away from many social events, not just dating. We depend on some stuttering therapy to correct our stammer. Then, we assume that all our inadequacies will go away by themselves. They NEVER do. Stuttering therapy cannot deal with all emotional scars. A person with this condition is usually "deeply wounded."
Anyone who is older like me will tell you that the best dating opportunities are in college. People are generally available for dating. They do not have as many negative beliefs about opposite sex that many older people do. They are more open to exploring and taking risks. People who stutter often do not and cannot take advantage of many opportunities that their college environment offers to them. Inability to speak fluently, being isolated from others, and always being in pain simply adds to a person's already miserable life.
During many support group meetings, I have heard that once a person with his speech problem will go through some stuttering therapy; he will start dating. Once the speech is more or less corrected, it will be time to date. As you already realize, this person does not really get to his dating part. Why not?
No stuttering therapy can correct personality inadequacies that a person who stutters develops.
Unfortunately, if a person does not do what needs to be done in his life, there will be painful regrets and disappointments. Eventually, he or she will be brave enough to post a personal profile on some dating site. However, this person will eventually realize that mostly leftovers that nobody really wants are available for him to date.
By the way, can some support group members help you to select the best stuttering therapy for you and provide some emotional support as you are going through treatment?
I found many support groups did not help me to make my situation better. Many of those groups consisted of people who were already very depressed. They were ready to cry on someone's shoulder. Many of those meetings left me totally depressed and paralyzed with my own emotional pain.
The recommendations I received from people who were present during the meetings were not helpful either. Their attitude was usually "nothing works." People did recommend some stuttering therapy. However, what works for one person does not necessarily will work for another person. The ironic thing was that people who recommended some speech therapy did not use it either. I stopped coming to support group meetings eventually because I did not see any value in them.
Please note that some support meetings can be beneficial. If the main goal will be to explore all avenues of available help, then many great things could be accomplished. For instance, people can talk about things that were helpful to them in dealing with this condition. Many intensive speech programs could be explored during those meetings as well. People should be free to criticize various speech techniques. Again, I believe the emphasis of these group gatherings should be placed on finding a "solution" to this problem, and not on finding more pain.
Nevertheless, having pain in our lives is what we grew accustomed to. We live in a very competitive society where we have to compete for various jobs. Right now, our economy is in a state of depression. People are losing their jobs, houses, and savings. The level of competition is higher presently than it has ever been before in many years. Our competition is not only limited to work. We need to compete for the best partners, places to live, schools to attend. Our society imposes these values on us. I did not just create them.
As I experienced myself and observed, most people who stutter are ill-equipped to participate in life. I do not just talk about dating. As a result, we are more often than not end up with jobs that we hate, partners we do not like, and life that we want to escape, but cannot. Again, no stuttering therapy can suddenly correct these problems!
However, what my natural stuttering therapy can and will do for you is it will allow you to start healing yourself from inside out. As you start speaking more and more fluently, you will gain confidence. You will begin making small changes in all other areas of your life. As we all know, small changes can lead to big changes. In this regard, this stuttering treatment will prevail over all other therapies out there.